Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Dialogue Part 2

   * Listen with a "beginner's mind"
      -- open, receptive, eager, curious, teachable.
   * Focus more on learning what you don't know
      than telling what you do know.
          * Try to understand what another is trying to say.
          * See "what's true" in other's comments, not "what's wrong."
                   ... VULNERABLE LISTENING
                   * Listen without resisting.
                   * Listen without defending a position
                      or needing to fix anything.
                   * Be open -- willing to be influenced by what you hear.
  * Listen w/o judging everything as "right or wrong," "good or bad."
  * Stay in the question.  Release the need for closure or agreement.
     Refrain from specific agendas or objectives.
     Defer decisions and action to another time.
  * Hold positions & certainties "lightly."  Open yourself up.
     Let go of the need to "be right" or to be "better than other."
  * Hear everything as "here & now" -- that is, hear other's (& your)
        comments as: "Right now this is what I think / feel / believe...." 
     See everything as temporary, in a process of growth & change.
         INQUIRING & REFLECTING...  Ask yourself questions, like
         * What is the meaning & significance of this?
         * How do things relate, or fit together?
         * What is it I don't know about this?  What are we not seeing?
            What's missing to complete this picture?  How can we look at        this differently?  What questions are we not asking?
         * What are the assumptions?
         * What do I find surprising?
         * What does nature teach us about this?
         * What about other cultures?  .... historical contexts?
         * What am I feeling right now?  Why?
  FINDING YOUR AUTHENTIC VOICE...  your unique voice
  * Speak from the heart.
  * Voice questions, uncertainties, & feelings as well as ideas & beliefs.
  * Speak for yourself, as one accountable, without blaming.
  * Speak from personal experience.
  * Use "I" statements.
                     BECOMING SELF-AWARE...
                     * Of your thought processes, your assumptions,
                        your feelings.
                     * Of being a part of the whole...
                             & of your unique contributions.                            

                     * Safety....  including freedom of choice.
   * Respect....   to "look again."
   * Open-mindedness....   willingness to consider                                                  other possibilities, other ways of seeing things.
                     * Authenticity....   & willingness to participate.

* Hear every voice.                              "Dialogue is a conversation    
* See others as peers.               with a center, not sides."
* Appreciate difference.             Dialogue and the Art of Thinking
* Speak from the heart.             Together    -- by William Isaacs

             THE OBJECT, more than knowledge & learning,
              * To know oneself more deeply.
             * To understand, accept, & appreciate others.
             * To see connections, relationships, the whole.
             * To be... think... relate... & create... together.

* Through silence & sharing       There is a way between voice and
   space/time together.              presence where information flows.
* By slowing down.                   In disciplined silence it opens. 
* By vulnerable listening.          With wandering talk it closes.
* Through personal inquiry                                          -- Rumi
   & reflection.
* By examining assumptions.
* By suspending judgment.
* By speaking from the heart.
         * By practicing, reflecting, sharing, practicing, reflecting, sharing.

                       "Perfection is not the issue in circle: 
                         Practice is enough."       
                   Calling the Circle -- The First and Future Culture
                                                        -- by Christina Baldwin
* Sit in a circle.
* Speak one person at a time.
* Speak to the center, or to the whole circle.
* Honor the person holding the "talking stick."
* Use pauses, silence, & the talking stick
   -- to slow down, process, & reflect
   -- and so all can participate.
* Share accountability & leadership.

         A dialogue group is self-directing & self-facilitating.
       Follow the agreements, rituals, format, & closing time
                  -- or agree to change them.

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